How do I join The Élan League ?

The Élan League begins with a request for invitation. Simply complete a brief form on our website — it’s your opportunity to tell us about yourself, your values, and what you’re seeking.

Each application is personally reviewed to ensure alignment with the League’s spirit: sincerity, discretion, and an openness to genuine connection.

If your application feels like a strong fit, you’ll receive a formal invitation to become a member. From there, you’ll unlock access to our curated calendar of private events and experiences, each designed to foster organic connection in refined, intimate settings.

Because The Élan League is intentionally selective.

How does The Élan League facilitate connections?

The Élan League is not a traditional matchmaking service. Instead, we believe meaningful chemistry unfolds in person, through shared moments — not swipes or forced setups.

At each event, we create an intentional atmosphere where connection happens naturally. Rather than encouraging rapid number-swapping or pressure to mingle with everyone, we invite members to be present, relaxed, and authentic.

After the event, you’ll have the option to discreetly note up to three members you felt a spark with. If the interest is mutual, our team will facilitate a respectful, private introduction — based on what you both shared in your applications and your experience at the gathering.

This approach ensures:

– No awkward exchanges

– No unsolicited messages

– No confusion over who’s interested

Just clear, mutual interest — revealed with grace. Of course, if a connection feels undeniable and both parties prefer to exchange details directly, you’re welcome to do so. But most members love the ease and elegance of our follow-up process.

It’s matchmaking… reimagined.

Is this a dating club or social club?

The Élan League is a refined dating club focused on serious relationships and authentic connections. While friendships can naturally develop, our core mission is to facilitate meaningful romantic bonds.

How often do events happen?

Members can expect exclusive events held biweekly to monthly. Each experience is thoughtfully curated to encourage genuine connection and elevated socializing.

What types of events can I expect as a member?

Our events are designed to cultivate real connection through shared, elevated experiences. Members can look forward to a rotating calendar of thoughtfully curated gatherings, including:

• Tennis & pickleball socials

• Golf afternoons or driving range meetups

• Intimate, candlelit dinners

• Horseback riding escapes

• Boat outings & sunset sails

• Wine tastings at hidden gems

• Art gallery evenings & museum nights

• Live jazz & music lounge experiences

• Seasonal soirées and more

Each event is crafted to feel both intentional and indulgent — always intimate, never overcrowded. We focus on quality over quantity, and every detail is designed to spark genuine conversation and lasting bonds.

What is the membership process?

Membership is by invitation only. You’ll start by submitting a request to join, after which we carefully review every application. If accepted, you will receive a personal invitation with all the details, including membership fees.

Are there membership fees?

Yes. The Élan League requires a monthly or annual membership fee, shared privately upon acceptance.

This fee supports:

– Personalized introductions and discreet connection opportunities

– Curated, members-only gatherings and experiences

– Ongoing community vetting to ensure emotional availability, effort, and alignment

– The overall intimacy, refinement, and integrity of our private circle

It’s more than a fee — it’s a quiet commitment to meaningful connection and a signal that you’re ready for something rare.

Note: Event tickets are sold separately so you can attend the gatherings that speak to you most. Members receive exclusive discounts and priority booking for all experiences.

Do I need to be single to join?

Yes. Our events are for individuals who are emotionally available and relationship/marriage minded.

Is there a dress code?

Dress codes vary depending on the event but always lean toward sophisticated and polished attire. Members receive event-specific guidelines ahead of time.

Can I bring a guest?

Yes — for select events, members may be permitted to bring a guest. All guests must align with the League’s values of intention, and relationship-mindedness. Members are responsible for the conduct and presentation of their guests. Invitations for guests are not guaranteed and are reviewed on a case-by-case basis.

Can I join if I’m not based in New York City?

Currently, membership is focused on individuals living in or near NYC to foster in-person connections. We may explore expansion in the future.

What is the age requirement to join The Élan League?

Women must be 21 or older, and men must be 26 or older to join. This reflects the life stages where many are ready for intentional, meaningful relationships — not casual flings. We designed our community to foster connection among individuals who are aligned in their readiness and values.

How long does it take to hear back after submitting my invitation request?

We aim to respond within 3-5 business days. However, don’t be discouraged if you don’t hear from us right away — if you’re accepted, you will receive a personal invitation. Every submission is reviewed with care, and we appreciate your patience as we curate a thoughtful, intentional community.

Is The Élan League a hookup or casual dating club?

No. The League is strictly for members who are ready to leave casual dating behind and pursue deep, intentional relationships.

How is privacy handled?

Your privacy and discretion are paramount. We take great care to keep member information and event details confidential, fostering a respectful and secure environment for all attendees.

If you have any further questions, don’t hesitate to get in touch. You can email us at hello@theelanleague.com or fill out the contact form. We’re always here to help.